Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
