sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
