So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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