You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize