He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
do nipples grow back?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
