i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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