Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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