Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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