He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
