it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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