hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
