I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
