He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
