"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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