I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
