it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
