Jerry, you need to find god
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize