so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
