Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
