They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can feel your judgement through the phone
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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