omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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