We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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