thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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