Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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