Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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