Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
