I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
