apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
