I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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