yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
COCAINE IS GR8
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
