I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
