Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
