do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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