You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
