i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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