do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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