what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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