Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
