I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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