new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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