Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am puke
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
