belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
