When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
