I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
