and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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