I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
