i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
