no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize