I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't think brook has ever known best
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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