i permit you to call me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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