how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
