My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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