Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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