sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
