You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize