she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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