Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
