I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
