i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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