I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
