it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
