We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
