Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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