The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
