Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
