Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
